When we are growing up, we constantly hear the croon of those that are our senior how “fast time flies” or that “it seems like I was just changing your diapers yesterday.” Lo and behold, I’m just a few days away from welcoming my amazing pre-teen daughter into teen-dom.
And I am SO looking forward to it.
But it did just feel like yesterday.
It seems there are so many things that influence that perception of time, not the least of which is the speed of my own life. I think the amount of margin we carry in life affects it as well. Neither of these elements were very optimized during the first 10 years of my lovely daughter’s life. And it went FAST. I wish I was more present – and that’s not really referring to the physical sense – I worked from home. Physically present does not equal emotionally present.
The last few years have been a journey toward “better” – learning to be (and enjoying being) more present in relationships, even in the midst of less than optimal conditions (financial pressure, business commitments, emotional struggle, etc.) Just this week, I’m in the middle of a significant amount of pressures to deliver a project for a client, and I’m learning that presence does not come without a fight – when I let my guard down this week, the fog rolls in, and when my daughter shows me the beautiful dress she and mom just purchased for our date this saturday, I see it, am blown away by it, but it seems like a world so far away in that moment. If I continue to let that slip, by the time Saturday rolls around, I’ll be completely taken out by the event.
I must keep fighting! We all must. I have spent so much of my life letting my circumstances dictate my well being that it is easy to fall back on that behavior. Thankfully, circumstances are just that – circumstances – and they don’t define who we are are (but how we approach them often indicates who dwells within us.)
I’m really looking forward to ushering this amazing new teen into the world. It’s been fun to watch her gifts develop, and to do our best to provide an environment for those gifts to incubate with minimal distraction from the “expectations” of society.
Audiophiles tell us that one of the colorful words used to describe that a loudspeaker delivers a live, lifelike sound is “presence.” Isn’t that interesting, that a measurement of presences is the amount of life-likeness? Oh, I want to be that!
And to Aimee Cole, you are an amazing young lady, with a very diverse set of gifts and talents. Extremely artistic and creative (www.bluwatermelon.com) and a Martial Artist as well (Tae Kwon Do Black Belt.) It’s so much fun to watch you live in your gifts, and see in you the joy that you get from that activity. I can’t wait to spend this weekend with you – present.